Hi everyone! As some of you know, I am in the process of writing a book about my journey to motherhood. Well, this is the blog post that started my brave, and very vulnerable, journey of sharing my story. If you want to read more, click on the Needles Paperwork and Prayer under the Categories section on the right hand side of the blog page.
If you are wondering about how the book writing is coming, the first rough draft is finished! I’ve decided to self publish the book and now I’m prayerfully deciding where and what avenue to self publish. Prayers would be greatly appreciated. My goal is to have the manuscript completed by June 15 and have an ebook and paperback book published by July 31. Much to do between now and then!
The Small Town Girl
The 2001 Christmas Letter
As I sat down to write this year’s Christmas letter and cards, my mind went back to the letter I wrote thirteen years ago. It was a life changer.
When Mr. Small Town and I married 21 years ago, we had such plans to fill our house with children. It was something we dreamed about and were full of excitement. However, over the course of 8 years, we soon discovered that those plans and dreams were not going to be realized as easily as we had thought.
After much prayer, we turned our hearts towards adoption. We spent time filling out the application and paperwork. We went through numerous interviews, and house inspections and finally, we were accepted to have a child placed in our home. How that would happen was another journey.
We thought that God in His infinite power would automatically place a child in our arms. We were somewhat correct in that assumption but we needed to do some work.
Our adoption counselor suggested that we write a letter to everyone we knew asking for their help to locate a birth mother who wanted to make an adoption plan for her unborn child. Since it was November, she suggested that we write the letter and include it in our annual Christmas cards. WHAT?!?
We were NOT excited to do this! Sure, we sent Christmas cards and letters every year, but to share something so private, so humbling, and so revealing, was another story! We were admitting to everyone that we couldn’t do something as simple as creating a baby… And that we were so pathetic that we were asking for help. It was one of the hardest letters to write.
I spent much time in prayer and, in a moment of God’s strength, the letter was written. However, it sat there for two days. I just didn’t have the courage to put the letter into the addressed and stamped envelopes. I just couldn’t do it.
When Mr. Small Town returned from his business trip, he found me in pieces with the letters staring at me. He wrapped me in his arms and told me that he would help me assemble the letters and put them in the mail box. I’ll never forget how we prayed over the letters together as we placed them in the local post office box, where I couldn’t retrieve them if I changed my mind!
It was a relief to finally have them done and in the mail. Another mountain conquered on the journey.
I’ll make a long story short (don’t worry, it’ll be another blog post!), but almost one year to the day of mailing the letters, Mr. Small Town and I were in a delivery room watching The Kid take his first breath of air. I can still hear the words that his birth mom said to me as she handed him to me, “Here’s your son.”
Friends, as I write this years’ Christmas letter, I’m reminded of that very humbling Christmas letter from 2001. What a huge step of faith it took to write it and send it. Are you facing a huge mountain that requires more strength and courage than you have? Are you in the midst of a mountain or storm that you have no idea how it will be resolved? I get it. I understand. And so does God. If you told me 13 years ago that this would be my reality, I would NOT have believed you! But it is.
I’m ending this post with a verse that encouraged me as I went through this journey, not to mention the other journeys I’ve conquered since then. I pray that it will be an encouragement to you as you rely on God’s strength and courage to conquer the mountain you are facing.
“Be strong! Be courageous! Do not be afraid! For the Lord your God will be with you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.”
Deuteronomy 3:16 (The Bible)
Merry Christmas to you from the Small Town Girl
Monica says
Faith is the most beautiful and difficult thing….. But glad are the ones who have it. Beautiful story… It was sure meant to be this way.
smalltowngirlbeckygraham says
I can’t wait till you read the book! It fills in all the details of my faith journey.