Deflated

 

“How’s the book coming?” my friend asked as she joined me in the pool.

“Slow,” I replied as I floated on my raft.

“How are you?” she asked.

“Deflated,” I replied with a smile.

She laughed and commented, “What a perfect word! You’re not defeated, just deflated!”

I joined her in laughing and agreed.

Back in June I worked feverishly to finish my first draft manuscript. Relieved to have it finally out of my head and onto the computer, I pushed the send button and sent my work to my editor. Elation filled my heart as I shared the news with my Facebook followers, friends, and just about everyone and anyone I met. I received many congratulations and encouraging words that people wanted to read my book and hear the story. Wind filled my author sails knowing my manuscript was on its way to becoming a book.

Then, I received an email back from the editor.

I realized that I rushed through writing the last part of the story because I just wanted to get the words out of my head and into the computer file. I didn’t use descriptive words to paint a picture for the reader, but I figured the editor could easily fix my mistakes. Foolishly, I anticipated the whole editing process to be completed within four weeks, five weeks at the most. Notice how I used the word foolishly. The editor’s email and rewrite of the first three chapters suggested that I change my voice. She advised about structure, active voice, and dialogue to bring the story alive to my readers. And, she implied the title was misleading and needed revising. The email sucked all the wind out of my writing sail. Did I really have the ability to write a book?

I took a few days and then replied back to the editor. The tone of the email must have stuck a nerve with her. She replied back and shared with me that the ‘mirror of editing’ can be extremely difficult for a first time author to hear and process. How could she read my mind?!? She complimented my blog writing skills, which vacillate around a seven or eight level, and encouraged me to write at a book quality level, which is a level 13. She described her job as pushing an author to be their best and told me that I have the potential. Tough to hear when I spent every last ounce of energy writing the first draft.

For two weeks I couldn’t even look at my computer or the manuscript without feeling deflated. Writing a book seemed insurmountable. I decided to take two weeks off from thinking about the book, my writing, and looming doubts. During the break I attended family reunion in Ohio. As I reconnected with my older male cousins I was shocked to hear that many knew I had embarked on writing a book. They heard about my blog and several of them encouraged me to keep going at my own pace. Deadlines are great but remember to be kind to myself if I didn’t make a deadline. Keep my priorities as a wife and mother first and the book completion would come. One cousin, Rick, said that he prays for all his cousins every morning. Of course he doesn’t mention each of us by name – there are 43 first cousins – but, God knows all the names. I laughed and thanked him because this is one cousin who appreciates any prayer she can get! The encouraging words filled my heart.

While getting my monthly adjustment, my chiropractor greeted me and asked how the book was coming. I replied by putting my thumb down and grimacing. “That’s okay,” he replied. “We’ll get you adjusted to get that blood flowing from your brain to your hands.” I smiled. “Anyway, it’s summer. Kids are off school and writing can be hard,” he commented as he twisted my head and my neck popped back into place. “You’ll be back writing soon. And when you finish the book, we’ll have a book signing party for you here at the office.” “You are too kind,” I replied. “I believe in you!” he said as he helped me up off the adjustment table. The thought ‘maybe I can write the book’ whispered back into my mind as I felt a small wind waft towards my writing sail.

Finally, the editor and I spoke over the phone and we cemented our working relationship. She encouraged me to write about our love story as a way to introduce us and connect our characters with first time readers who know nothing about the Small Town family. I finished writing those chapters this past week. I LOVED writing those chapters! Looking back and remembering falling in love brought huge smiles to my face. I felt the wind blowing back into my writing sails.

God’s been whispering words of encouragement to me. Remember “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.” How do you write a book? One chapter at a time. So simple yet so profound.

During my Pinterest browsing God brought other encouragement with pins entitled Stages of Writing a Book and Writing Narration – Six Major Narrator Types. I realized other authors experience the same emotions that I was feeling. The wind is slowly blowing back into my writing sail and my writing boat is beginning to move forward.

The pressure, disappointment, and obligations of writing the book are gone. Pleasure, anticipation, and expectations replace them. And when the wind deflates my writing sail again, I will be kind to myself, keep my priorities in place, and remember that the book will be completed in time.

Until then, I’ll keep writing a chapter at a time.

Blessing to all of you!

 

The Small Town Girl

 

 

The final note of encouragement came today from my project manager. After reading this, my sail is full of wind!!

It’s normal to get discouraged and feel like everything is working against you at this point – I feel like the closer an author gets to publishing a book that will bring glory to God, the more the enemy works to not let it happen. You’re at that point right now, but I encourage you to keep trekking! There are many women who need to read your story and find hope for themselves. God brought you to this point – he will get you through it!